Well , I've not been blogging for a period of time again as usual. hahah. but well, anyway I have no idea why I decided to blog now... so let's just see where this goes...

Hmmm, things that I did recently :

Had meeting with Ms Tan and Sam

Followed sis to PAHQ

Met YH and his colleagues

Went to Vivo with YH

Had supper dog (=

Walked around

Bus-ed home.

Stayed up to do the beads thingy for Teresa's Birthday

Teresa's 23rd birthday "party"

Clearing of store room

Amoy street for dinner

Chris slept over

Watched movies before going to bed

Went to Chris's house

Played with his dog 'xiao hei' (OMG!! DAMN CUTE!!)

Picked mom up

Supper at serene centre

Homed

Facebook and checked mails

Blogging now..

Don't really remember what happened before/in between that.

Hmmm.. Teresa's 23rd was AWESOME! hahah. quite drama when was later in the morning @ St James dragonfly. And thanks Kachi and Jiunn Ngee for you know what (= Met 2 other new people : James and Jing Wen. (= Had an awesome time overall for the whole celebration...

Went Chris's house earlier and the dog freaked me out cos it was literally barking and running towards me! *faints* hahah!! damn embarrassed la. But afterwards I can't stop playing with the dog cos it was so adorable and obedient... hahah It's called "Xiao Hei" but I still call it doggie (= hahaahah...

I should be staying in Singapore apparently as my mom's flying up to jkt instead to meet my dad... Means more sleepovers and outings? :D Meeting YH on friday night. Hmmmm movieeee??? and sleepover after that with PJPeeps? OMG then my house will be wreaked in havoc hahahaa! Xuan De!! you're gonna be restricted to an area free of any breakable items! hahaha. means gotta clear my whole living area... LOL.

Okay, I'm gonna stop here for now cos I don't know where this will lead to and I'm too occupied with the songs playing in the background. So, Ciao!

Listen @ 2:14 am

Got home this morning around 7-8 plus. Dad was discharged from SGH's A&E observation ward at 5 plus... Chris drove us to tiong for breakfast cos dad was really hungry and tired from all the tests and everything.

I still can't believe that my sister was such an ass. Dad really needed us to be there with him and all and she insisted on staying for the meeting! Like hello? What is more important?! Your dad or the meeting?! I mean come on I don't believe that no one else in the meeting room can take the minutes for you? Anywho, after discussing with Kenneth W. @ Joo Chiat CC about some band stuffs Chris drove me down to SGH in Lightning speed... well, kinda. Went up to the A&E and I don't know where to go or who to look for so I called dad. He told me that he was inside the critical and rescuration room so I asked the nurse if I could go in and she checked everything and allowed me to go in. I was totally freaked out cos it was like there were some people who were seriously injured like really bloody. The doc, Dr Wong, came over to tell me about the tests and all that my dad got to take or had already taken. He needed to go for another 3 ECG and something else when I got there.

So I went out to wait and it got too cold and quiet then went in again and found a chair empty in the corner and sat there for about an hour before they informed me that my dad has been moved to the observation ward and have to stay at least 8 hours for the tests and results. And if the results were abnormal they will have to admit him and all. so went to settle the room stuffs and payment and all before going in to see dad. Stayed outside at the same spot for another 2-3 hours before sis and chris came over then brought them in to see dad and pass him his med and all. After, we went to chris car to get some rest. I couldn't really rest cos I was worried of the results and all.

At 4 plus I went in to check on him and the nurse was like " later, 540am" so chatted with the nurse to ask if everything was okay for that few hours he was inside and she said that everything was okay only a couple of times where his breathing was unstable. Waited till the time went in and talked to the nurse again to check the particulars and med and all. Dad woke up, they discharged him and left.

I'm tooo tired to reply text messages I need more sleep.

Listen @ 6:52 pm

Got To Believe lyrics

by Sterling Knight

All my life people tellin' me just who I am

They don't want to know, they don't really understand

So many people tryin' to tell me to be practical

Only thing that I don't want to mention, no.

But I can feel it, there's a fire raging underneath.

Burning through the pages in now I'm coming clean

I'm sick of lying to myself gotta live the truth

Now I got to do what I gotta do

This is where I should be

There ain't no other place, yeah

Where my soul really speaks

There ain't no other way

I can feel it, save me, move me, shake me

Gotta go where the music sings to me

Let it set me free

You got to believe

Is it a crime to just be who I want to be?

I need some space so I can chase all my dreams

Cause when I hit the stage anything is possible

I get lost in a song that is magical

So crank it up feel the rush send you set me loss

I wanna feel the inspiration that is coming through

And there's no other place where I don't feel so alive

When you start to sing you just can't deny

This is where I should be

There ain't no other place, yeah

Where my soul really speaks

There ain't no other way

I can feel it, save me, move me, shake me

Gotta go where the music sings to me

Let it set me free

You got to believe

When everybody's gone and I'm here all alone

(I don't gotta hide, I don't gotta hide)

You got to understand that this is who I am

And it's where I shine and it's where I shine

I know, this is where I should be

There ain't no other place, yeah

Where my soul really speaks

There ain't no other way

I can feel it, save me, move me, shake me

Gotta go where the music sings to me

Let it set me free

You got to believe

This is where I should be

There ain't no other place, yeah

Where my soul really speaks

There ain't no other way

I can feel it, save me, move me, shake me

Gotta go where the music sings to me

Let it set me free

You got to believe

____________________________________________________________

Hello(= Apparently, I've been blogging but I always decide to unpublish the post and keep it in the drafts.. Haha. Well, let's see, where so I start? From now perhaps.. Just e-mailed Mr Wong the activities I did in Band for testimonial. ( Thanks alot Mr Wong!! I really appreciate it!! )

Well, anyway, I've been up to nothing much lately ever since the end of O levels last year... That's like omgosh, LONG LONG LONG time ago.. hahaha..I totally miss STCBand! Though I get to go back for practice and everything, it's definately different from being IN it. Its just like some of the time I'll feel a little out of place and all and also probably because I don't always know the 411 and all happening in and outside of band which now I reply on juniors to keep me updated and "in track" haha.

Recently, I went out with Kenneth B. to just hang out.. Met him at cityhall, went to have Astons for lunch then to the yoyo shop amongst all the other dance/music/maternity/art shop.. haha! The shop keeper was kinda like totally awesome (= Hang around for quite a bit... Afterwards, we trained down to Tampines and pretty much walked around cos he was supposed to teach me new tricks on the yoyo but it was raining and there were kinda alot of ppl at the sky park or garden or smth.. ahah went to seach for hairclip but couldn't find the one I wanted and he brought me to like all the shopping mall around that area to find it?! Gosh I'm sooooo sorry Kenneth! hahha. Recieved a text from dad saying that we'll be having dinner at Brotzeit @ Raffles city!! So quickly trained down and ended up reachine earlier than any of them so ordered drinks and waited for them to come. Chris and Eric came along for dinner too!! It was super hilarious!! hahaa they kept saying :"stress ah stress ah" hahahh!! like, dude, seriously ?o.O haha!

Apparently, I'm supposed to be sleeping like hours ago cos I'm going for STCBand and Joo Chiat YEC meeting + a while on the youth cycle about event...( Those who are interested in participating in the youth cycle about pls ask me for more details!! Start off point will be at Victoria School on the 9th May 0815am)

Okay!... I realised this is a super long post so I shall end here... Mornights!! (=

Listen @ 4:04 am

Kris Allen's - No Boundaries

Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment lasts forever when you feel you’ve lost your way
What if your chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away

Cause here I am still holding on

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath is harder to believe

You’ll make it through the pain
Whether the hurricane
To get to that one thing

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

I fought to the end to stand on the edge
What if today is as good it gets
Don’t know where the future’s heading
Nothings gonna bring me down

I’ve jumped every bridge and I’ve run every line
I’ve risked being saved but I always knew why
I always knew why

So here I am still holding on
Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath its harder to believe

You’ll make it through the pain
Whether the hurricane
To get to that one thing

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule cause
There’s nothing between you and your dreams

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath is harder to believe
Yeah…

There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Whether the hurricane
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The song, this song's lyrics are speaking to me. It makes sense now. or maybe it doesn't and its just that I want to feel this way. Maybe like she said, maybe i am not happy.. but also there's the possibility that i want to change, I'm not sure how it could change some things don't but most things do. Sometimes all that everyone needs is just a little faith to hold on to. And knowing that there are people that cares for me and who will support me all the way, I feel comforted and accepted. Being accepted is something that some/most people ever look for in their whole entire life but then again, the word life, life's a funny/fragile thing. One second a person can be here and the next thing you know, they're gone and the worst part is, you never know when you're gonna lose everything you had in just blink of an eye... Well, at least trying to keep myself positive is better than trying to be better when feeling negative. I've been putting up this mask for far too long , for far too many people. Just get back that attitude and spirit and i know with THEM and god, I know i can always seek for comfort, understanding and acknowledgement which would help me to move on in life wherever we might be or at whatever crossroads i might face.

I would like to end my last post till 11Nov with a something i wrote:

Dreamers are just ordinary people who wants to seek for fulfilment in their life tasks

Some have it easy while others have it hard.

Some would be well-known while others like a dump

But something would keep them going

But is it the beating rhythm of their heart?

I'd never thought of things this way

That I could lose everything I had in one day.

And after all, it was the many little memories that we've shared

But now I wander if that was all I was going to have...

-Lizgohll-

Listen @ 11:11 pm

A million , no wait. A billion things happened in this period of time.. its just like one word : lunatic.. The last month had been a crazy month of breakdowns, like seriously, ALOT of breakdowns. And of cos, the people that never failed to be there for me... they are the reason for me to hold on to even the slightest. I decided to stay strong and try to be strong. challenging and tough but someone once said :'' nothing cannot be achieved a willing heart'' or smth of this sort.. aha... now I'm in a much lighter mood thanks to them and i hope that it will remain or get better than this. So, I'm gonna give it my ultimate best shot to show them that there's something that i can do to make them proud of me. And stop breaking people hearts... First to conquer : O's, friggin O's that actually is nothing much but ''ordinary'' level.. hahha! Omg, I'm happy once again (= Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... it feeeeeeeels like __________( put any amazing word that you can think of)

Listen @ 10:53 pm

This post will be short cos I promised I'd rest early (= Today. Today was like a super thinking day... thought of stuff everywhere, every possible time.. I went to sch and stayed till 8 and managed to catch up alot on stuffs with aelis... took bus and send aelis home first and she made me run for my bus =.= So anw, the journey home was like a lil longer than average but it didn't really matter. didn't like going home and went to the playground.someone said i'm always at the playground... haha. place to think there was no one there and i played tennis with 2 random ppl i don't know but it was fun (= and went back to the swing but decided to lay on the ground so i did. went home and settled down and posting now. and gonna slp after this post so, adios!

Listen @ 10:52 pm

Alright, I admit I'm like crazy. Its a school day and I'm like still up.. And I'm like supposed to be up at latest 530? 'cos I'm like taking the 610 train =X But anyway, I just finish doing the dishes for my all so early breakfast and I'm contemplating to whether if I'm going to run tomorrow morning before assembly starts... Hmmm..

Well, my all so perfect day was cos I slept till like freaking late to make up for the many sleepless nights. And for once I truly had peace in me when I woke up. Played the violin for a bit then to stickings for like 30 mins and cooked lunch.. Today was a rest day. A day off from the stupid life of mine that I can't seem to take on if I don't take a breather from it. And i know that somehow, someone out there feels the same too...

Speaking of which, someone msged me about people, and how someone can changed so drastically. From a loving, quiet, fun and easy-going person to someone that is actually like so cold, and distant and easily annoyed. Someone that changed to become more materialistic, heartless and unloving. I really just don't get it. How could one person be someone of double split personalities in such a short time. Like to leave everything behind is definately not something I'm capable of and while some called in moving on and seeing the bigger picture, I still don't think it makes sense. So its like making use of people to get where you are, to actually leave them or forget them when you found something better. That's bullshit, but some would say that that's life. And in life, crap happens. But crap only happens when people starts doing stuff like tht no matter how small it may seem.. like someone once said :" Its the little things that goes a long way." The whole thing is just cruel...seriously.

I need to ''whack some balls" soon. Haha. only 1 would understand it (= haha. and no, its nothing dirty so keep your thoughts straight... oh wells, I better get some rest even an hour would be better than nothing (= So till later, and i pray that today is lets just say passable without any breakdowns...

Listen @ 3:22 am

Alright, its been donkeh years since I last blogged here… partly cos I didn't felt that my thoughts on the things that are happening was appropriate to be shared here as well, most of them are pretty personal and that lots of things have happened... Not really having a good time now and its like kinda depressing but I MUST BE STRONG. Its almost midnight and I'm still up as usual. Tired. But I gotta finish tons of work that somehow serve as revision and preparation for the big O.. I'm like dying of some sickness, no wait. A few sickness? But I take it all on me for I've not really been taking enough care, just kept myself as busy as I could and kept trying to work doubly hard than others cos I'm sort of a freaking slow learner. Oh-wells.

Some flashbacks, went for band which was (= not of everything but to be with my section and my band is just, the feeling is just pleasantly indescribable. I always feel that, probably one of the infinity of reasons why I keep going back even though its like to my teacher's or perhaps parent's, sibling or friend's sole disagreement and disapproval is because that of what I have found and learnt in not any band but STCBAND, those bad and good roller coastal rides , brought me closer to life, something like the closest thing I have to a family that accepts me for me and not because of what I have. This is especially so for my section ; STCPERCUSSION!! As they were the ones, all of them, whom I've watched grown up from little babies to some, even better players than myself and I still can't believe that my time with them would soon be distance and prolly over after a period of time which might be soon, and the thought of that scares me. alot. But whatever it is, I'll always try to be there for them and I hope they know that they can come to me any time.And even though I may not be with them physically all the time, I'll never fail to be there for them when they need me cos I believe that in any situation, no matter how bad it seems, if we just try to hold on together, we would be able to conquer any mountain or obstacles that may be set for us no matter how long it takes.

I guess, i better get back to my boooks now, took almost a 15 min break. so , till next time <3

P.S. GO STC PERCUSSION!! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART! -The beat and rhythm of percussion, is the sole reason for OUR obssesion (= -

Listen @ 11:49 pm

You have the talent,
And you can play
Just relax,
And you'll have it your way

Nothing's ever too hard
with determination and a willing heart
We'll achive something
That will make us all proud

Never give up,
never back down
just keep moving forward
till we're done

This promise i ask of you
And i hope you'll keep it too
And remember,
No matter what happens,
we'll ALL be there for YOU

-By Elizabeth goh-
~copyrighted~(=

i just wrote this for my section i'm not sure if its okay but i know that if we're like connect, they'll understand my intentions..

School started and i'm not really a big fan of it and trust me school is way tiring these days i mean like teachers are always expecting something, people are always expecting somethin your friends and family are expecting somethin all from you. How are we supposed to be so good at taking care of everything? of meeting everyone's expectation/hopes/goal for us when we're just nothing more than mere stressed out youths who struggle with school, work, homeworks, tuition, remedial, etc etc and still be upholding all the other expectations others have of us/ This will keep me thinking for quite a while now... hmm.

Band has been crazily ____________(dunno what to put) its just a ray of mixed emotions and all in all, i really enjoyed it.It wasn't as much fun without my seniors but i've moved passed that and bonded i can say quite alright with MY juniors. SYF is in 8 days? like next wednesday and like the atmosphere this SYF is really nothing as compared to the last one i had 2 years ago... this year's mood/atmosphere is like calm and steady a lil' hickups but it'll pass.However, this don't mean that we're actuallly good good but like maybe we feel safe or somthing...i seriously don't know...So anw, i do hope we're just going in there and giving our best shot as like it will be then that i'll effort will effort will be shown and paid off and we'll all feel good and proud of whatever medal we attain.so yea, thts tht for band..

Its like not very late but i'm very tired and there's still a whole pile of work to finish!! so yea, till one day someday soon !

Listen @ 10:54 pm

La La La La,
La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La,
La La La La La

Verse 1:
Six a.m.
Radio Playin'
Stumble out of bed,
Runnin' out the door
A brand new day
Never thought I'd have this feeling
Never thought I'd get this far
But I'm okay.....

Chorus:
And I fly
I reach out my hands and touch the sky
That's right in front of me
And I try
Just let go, relax, enjoy the ride
And I feel free
When I fly
When I fly

Verse 2:
Thinkin' back
When there were days
I could barely make it out the door
So much doubt
Changed my mind
Change my ways
Wasn't gonna do this anymore
I turned around...

Chorus:
And I fly
I reach out my hands and touch the sky
That's right in front of me
And I try
Just let go, relax, enjoy the ride
And I feel free
Like a butterfly
Who lost his soul
I choose not to hide
Anymore.......

Fly
Oh Oh Oh
Fly

And I fly
I close my eyes and kiss the sky
That's right in front of me
And I tryJust let back, relax, enjoy the ride
And I feel free
And I flyI reach out my hands and touch the sky
That's right in front of me
And I tryJust let go, relax, enjoy the ride
And I feel free

When I fly
When I fly
When I fly
When I fly
When I fly

La La La La,
La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La,
La La La La

This song is called "I Fly" and its by Hayden, one of my all time favourite(=

So yea, I'm trying to revive my blog and i think this is a good way to start like with a song which i can relate too(= so yea, this song is like somewhat my life like my typical daily routine if i have school. wake up at 6am rush out the door just to get to school on time and its goes on and on and at the end of the day, i couldn't believe i had survived it and on other days i would just give up and would not be in a mood for anything. hence the song.

So, anyway, this year EFL was mission week and i learnt quite a fair bit from it so yea, I'm thankful for the team that came down and my funny facilitators and for the school for organising it. so yea, it was a rather interesting 3 day programme and it basically taught us about god's presence, Love, Friendships, family and courtships and all but all in all is to have a paradigm shift of what we think and what is fact for we are not always right. so yea, thts basically it.

Moving on and along was Band exchange programme with ACS(B),Damai and Kent Ridge(host). It was an enriching journey even though it was only for a day and it left me thinking of my playing and all and like it makes me wanna do something more than what i have now and like so i could improve myself and like keep on working.But one thing that i'm really glad and proud of is that of my section: people of different attitude,culture,behaviour coming together as one in the name of music making and this really makes me proud of all of them(=

To end it here, Sectionals today was quite funny cos we (Alicia,Jasmine,Yuri,Jia hui and myself) we were like dacing around which is like so fun and hilarious! like omg, We're really crazy.. But toned down and had actual sectionals and Stephanie joined us later on and left us agn.. haha. anw, Sushan aka suzanne is in JB )= so otherwise will be even more cra... trust me everyone of us is highly, dangerously crazy.. But hey! its our section tradition and has been pass down from the lao ren(s) hahaha

So yea, thats all for now ! tata!

Listen @ 5:08 pm

Today didn't really turnout the way i think or hope it would be. damn. i still feel like a stupid sick person who nearly DIED on the first day of school. Like come on for just one day of school. Why can't i just be happy?! This is getting now where. So, anyway, one thing we did in class today was that ofthe election of the cmc member. Well, it isn't really much of an election as they all just volunteer. I could not be bothered for i didn't want to take up any position. And its not that i dont like to lead or take up any responsibility or act shy or whatever crap they are thinking. And frankly I've learn to live all these years not being bothered by what they say or think of me or i know what i'm doing. and if they don't, well actually i dont really care.Dont see the point anyway.The reason is just for me to know and for you to never find out(:

Band. It was... what should i say? erm let me see . now, now. ah right. it was moody.But Alex came !!! hurray! hurray! And i like my section just the way it is and i wouldn't change it for we are unique in our own special lil' ways and thats something precious and meant to be treasured.

I'm still hopeful for tomorrow. For a brand new day bring new hope and a beginning of something i can always learn from . though it might be a dread of long hours, I will survive! well, hopefully .. since we're starting lesson proper tomorrow. yikes! well, thats anout it for now. so, byeeee.

Listen @ 10:15 pm

okay. i'm back and i'm feeling a lil better. not as well, but better than a few days ago. still a lil' fevery if there's such a word. anyway, went to jurong east to meet jas, cherie and xin yi which came after her church. so anw, we discussed and did up the band brochure for this year's sec 1 orientation cca booth. also, we did and ate our lunch at mos imm. our group consist of actually 9 now 11 ppl though i dun see why we need so many people though. the more people the harder to meet up well, anw. its almost over so yea, whatever.

Tomorrow will be my 1st day of school for the year 2009! i really don't know what to expect. really! feelings are like: excited, scared,nervous? well, anyway,i gotta sleep early to be fresh for my 1st day of school though i heard that there won't be any lesson just as yet. so oh well. adios for now!

Listen @ 9:06 pm

didn't go school yesterday. heard it was crappy anyway. didn't go for chingay practice today too. i feel crappy this instance. damn . they are like trying out the costumes. i hate sickness, they always get in the way of something i wanna do! anyway, jas msged me awhile earlier about some band stuff. like hello? can they stop giving last min stuff. its annoying. and i'm so not mentioning names here least i get reported by some ____________ no word to put. so anw, still sick and down and crappy. so tilli'm better and can post better things, i'll leave it here for now. left.

Listen @ 11:31 am

Damn. its a brand new year and guess how it started? hangover from countdown parteh, and puke, puke, and more puke.

it feels crappy and i ain't gonna blog any longer for today. bye. i'm dead today.

Listen @ 11:29 am

Its exactly 1 week from my last post here. and well, little changes happened though i expected more.Still missing some peeps from obml but i'll live pass that for i believe through fate, we'll meet again someday.Speaking of fate, something made me happy. We chatted for a while it was more than i had ever bargained for. i just wanted to see her but the lord has given me a chance, and we spoke. i was really glad that day, like total, major happiness.

Just watched swing girls on television and its funny. right. Anyway, have to be in school tomorrow to help Mr Wong to do up the OMBL notice board for the sec 1 orientation although i dont see the link for they can only go in sec3. but anyways, i don't mind. i like doing such things...

Benjamin's coming tomorrow. should i go or should i not go... hmm. really tight in cash....): anyone got some to spare?

Listen @ 10:18 pm